My baby isn’t a baby anymore

My dearest Everest,

You are officially three years old, and I can’t believe how fast time has flown by.

I’m amazed at how much you’ve grown and developed within this past year. You’ve accomplished so much and I couldn’t be more proud of you, kid!

Beyond the basic fundamentals of ABC’s and 123’s, you’ve impressed me with your knowledge of Bruno Mars songs. You can recite each line of your favorite TMNT movie, and you know the difference between Huraches, Air Maxes, and Jordans.

You are aware of safety in all areas of life. For example, you tell us to hold your hand when crossing the street, and gather all the butter knives on the table at every restaurant we go to, claiming that these utensils are very dangerous and only grown ups can use them.

But you still have trouble grasping the idea that your toy sai weapons are a hazard whenever you pretend to be Raphael, and you swing them here and there, putting everyone around you at risk. It’s okay, you’ll eventually get it one day, because it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

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Happiness, or lack thereof.

Allow me to be candid with you all for a moment.

Awhile back, I went on hiatus and took a break from the blogging world because I realized that I felt a lack of fulfillment and satisfaction in my posts.

I focused on the expectations of my readers, rather than concentrating on my passions.

Eventually I revisited the idea of blogging, with the intent to let go of any anticipation. I decided that I would solely begin DatuKnows in order to share my thoughts, or whatever it is my heart desires at the moment.

I have a strong interest in writing and promoting positive dialogue. So let’s look at this blog as some sort of conversation.

Today’s topic: Mental Health + Self-Care

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Dear Datu // September 6, 2017

Wednesday – September 6, 2017 (4:28 PM)

The tri-tip is in the oven, and dinner is almost ready. I have an hour until it’s time to pick up my little one. Today is just a normal day.

But that’s it. This normal day has become one of the worst days of my life, and I’m trying my best to maintain my composure.

Even with that simple task, I’m not successful. Not today

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Dear Datu // August 3, 2017

Thursday – August 3, 2017 (9:37 AM)

Depression is a strange thing. You would think that after dealing with this mental illness for more than half of my life, that I would have some sort of control over it.

There’s days when it’s possible to maneuver around my roller coaster of emotions, and then there’s times when I have to just throw in the towel and let it take over.

This morning I threw in the towel.

But the hardest part of it all is that I succumbed to this depression in front of my son. As he sat there crying, I broke down and cried with him.

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4 Your Eyez Only

A few weeks ago, I had a date night with J. Cole.

Okay, In reality I went on a date with my husband to attend J. Cole's concert at the Oracle Arena. But same thing, right?

As soon as 4 Your Eyez Only was released, I immediately announced to the entire world that I was going to his show. My husband and I missed our chance to see him on tour for 2014 Forest Hills Drive, and we are still upset about it.

Once the tour dates were announced earlier this year, I knew exactly where I was going to be on July 15th: Oakland.

Before I begin to recap the events from that night, I must address a few things…

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Dear Datu // July 13, 2017

I’ve decided to start a new section within my blog entitled “Dear Datu.” Obviously playing on the idea of writing in one’s diary, I intend to spill out whatever is consuming my mind at that particular moment. 

Each entry will be completely unedited to maintain my thoughts and their authenticity.

I don’t know how long this will go on, but I assume it will be interesting. Or at the very least, a bit therapeutic on my part. 

We shall see. 

Thursday – July 13, 2017 (1:11 AM)

It’s times like this I really want to quit. My days are never-ending and there is no allotted time for relaxation within my schedule. I’m exhausted.

Some people say that during these occasions of vulnerability, we can discover some sort of revelation. Call what you will an “ah-ha” moment. Right now it’s feeling more like a “ha-ha” moment if you ask me.

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Best Cousins Forever

If you read my last blog post, it’s obvious that Everest had the time of his life splashing around in the pool on Saturday. But what I didn’t share was the impromptu photo shoot he had with his favorite cousin, Camdyn.

If he wasn’t swimming, he definitely was running around the house with his older cousin.

There’s something about their kinship that is very special and so heartwarming to watch. They’re great with one another, and truly get along. The tantrums and fights are minimal. Pretty much close to none, since I have yet to witness one between the two of them. That in itself is a rarity.

Whenever they play together, I love hearing their genuine laughter. It’s moments like this that I’m reminded of how sweet and innocent our children can be, and that we must cherish every single minute.

Thankfully I have these pictures (even the one where they both take a tumble) to look back on.

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