Dear Datu // September 6, 2017

Wednesday – September 6, 2017 (4:28 PM)

The tri-tip is in the oven, and dinner is almost ready. I have an hour until it’s time to pick up my little one. Today is just a normal day.

But that’s it. This normal day has become one of the worst days of my life, and I’m trying my best to maintain my composure.

Even with that simple task, I’m not successful. Not today

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Dear Datu // August 3, 2017

Thursday – August 3, 2017 (9:37 AM)

Depression is a strange thing. You would think that after dealing with this mental illness for more than half of my life, that I would have some sort of control over it.

There’s days when it’s possible to maneuver around my roller coaster of emotions, and then there’s times when I have to just throw in the towel and let it take over.

This morning I threw in the towel.

But the hardest part of it all is that I succumbed to this depression in front of my son. As he sat there crying, I broke down and cried with him.

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4 Your Eyez Only

A few weeks ago, I had a date night with J. Cole.

Okay, In reality I went on a date with my husband to attend J. Cole's concert at the Oracle Arena. But same thing, right?

As soon as 4 Your Eyez Only was released, I immediately announced to the entire world that I was going to his show. My husband and I missed our chance to see him on tour for 2014 Forest Hills Drive, and we are still upset about it.

Once the tour dates were announced earlier this year, I knew exactly where I was going to be on July 15th: Oakland.

Before I begin to recap the events from that night, I must address a few things…

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Dear Datu // July 13, 2017

I’ve decided to start a new section within my blog entitled “Dear Datu.” Obviously playing on the idea of writing in one’s diary, I intend to spill out whatever is consuming my mind at that particular moment. 

Each entry will be completely unedited to maintain my thoughts and their authenticity.

I don’t know how long this will go on, but I assume it will be interesting. Or at the very least, a bit therapeutic on my part. 

We shall see. 

Thursday – July 13, 2017 (1:11 AM)

It’s times like this I really want to quit. My days are never-ending and there is no allotted time for relaxation within my schedule. I’m exhausted.

Some people say that during these occasions of vulnerability, we can discover some sort of revelation. Call what you will an “ah-ha” moment. Right now it’s feeling more like a “ha-ha” moment if you ask me.

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Best Cousins Forever

If you read my last blog post, it’s obvious that Everest had the time of his life splashing around in the pool on Saturday. But what I didn’t share was the impromptu photo shoot he had with his favorite cousin, Camdyn.

If he wasn’t swimming, he definitely was running around the house with his older cousin.

There’s something about their kinship that is very special and so heartwarming to watch. They’re great with one another, and truly get along. The tantrums and fights are minimal. Pretty much close to none, since I have yet to witness one between the two of them. That in itself is a rarity.

Whenever they play together, I love hearing their genuine laughter. It’s moments like this that I’m reminded of how sweet and innocent our children can be, and that we must cherish every single minute.

Thankfully I have these pictures (even the one where they both take a tumble) to look back on.

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Dip in the Pool

Saturday was sweltering, to say the least. With the weather reaching 100 degrees, it only made sense to go for a swim. Thankfully, we were invited to visit our cousin’s family and hang out at their new home in Gilroy.

Their gorgeous home was fully equipped with a lovely swimming pool. Personally, I believe that if you’re going to live in Gilroy, you must find a place with a pool to combat the dry heat during the summer. My cousins made a smart choice.

All in all, it was great just to sit back and relax and spend some quality time with the family. It was nice to see Everest beginning to get more comfortable and confident in the water. It’s safe to say that we all had a blast.

Hopefully there will be more days like this in the near future.

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I Never Wanted to Get Married

Recently, a friend of mine asked, “What’s the point of getting married?” He immediately followed up his own question with this statement: “I’m already committed.”

And then it hit me. I went through the same conflicting situation five years ago (give or take).

I was in this steady relationship with my then boyfriend – now husband, and I had no sense of urgency to walk down that aisle. It wasn’t him. It has always been me.

Ever since I was a young girl, I never wanted to get married. I never daydreamed about that perfect wedding dress, or had a song picked out for the first dance. I never imagined what my husband would look like, for the simple fact that I never wanted a husband.

Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t born with this idea of becoming Miss-I-don’t-need-a-man-cause-I’m-an-independent-woman. Not to say that I don’t have that mentality now; however, that wasn’t exactly the reason behind my logic that I carried at an early age.

To be completely honest, I never wanted to get married, because I didn’t have a marriage to look up to. 

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